So today I’m plugging along, doing my thing, secure in the knowledge that while many things in the world are bad right now, at least there’s no ticking time bomb within walking distance of my office. And then I see this:
Dammit!
But… wait. Turns out it’s not an actual explosive device waiting to detonate (even though the ad banner above is urging me to celebrate the fourth of July “with a bang.” Ha ha). Clicking through brings you to a much more boring picture of the downtown, um, “skyscraper,” also known as the Bank of America building, and the dire warning of a guy who will not stop running for mayor that if the Bank of America leaves that building when its lease is up, Providence as we know it will cease to exist.
Questions/comments? I have some.
First, the “Superman building?” Oh, Providence, you are adorable sometimes. You know, if you photograph a stalk of celery at night, in fog, and with sentry-looking statues flanking it (although I think the upper one is Roger Williams), it might look Superman-ish, too. But a more accurate representation may be how it appears behind the Griffins’ house on Family Guy:
Decidedly less super.
Second, what the hell? Is there a dearth of crises in this state, country, and world right now that necessitates the manufacturing of scary-sounding problems of a pseudo-violent nature? Honestly, I’m a little preoccupied worrying about how my local elementary school is going to have turned into a cash-for-gold depot by the time my daughter is ready for kindergarten to worry too much about downtown getting all Lord of the Flies if BoA vacates.
And lastly, if BoA truly is one of the state’s largest employers, and the lion’s share of its employees work in this one downtown building, where do they all park? Where do they all park?
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