Well, great.
Why is it that when Rhode Island makes the national news, it’s always about something stupid and/or embarrassing? Why is it always bankrupttowns and pension debacles and mob musicals, and never newborn okapis or princess visits? Why can’t we just for once do something awesome and get recognized for it?
Rhode Island’s most recent embarrassment is this whole “Holiday Tree” debacle. In case you haven’t yet heard anyone on Fox News keen and wail about it, our governor decided to refer to the decorated conifer in the State House this year as a holiday tree, not a Christmas tree, and the sky fell. When I first heard about it I put my head in my hands, not because I’m offended as a celebrator of Christmas, but because I knew that there was a good chance that Governor Chafee’s choice would become the 2011 flash point for this “war on Christmas” nonsense we hear every year. And you know what? It did! It totally did. Even though Chafee isn’t the first governor to call it a holiday tree. Oh, you didn’t know that? It’s true. The last governor – a Republican, no less – did the same thing.
HE DID THE SAME THING.
Of course, when he did it, the people who didn’t like him weren’t as loud or as organized, or they plain didn’t care, so no one made a stink about it. Or perhaps there were more egregious offenses against the baby Jesus to preoccupy them. I don’t know. What I do know is that yes, of course it’s a Christmas tree, and yes, calling it a holiday tree is probably a bit of a misguided, if earnest, attempt at inclusiveness. (Although I’m not sure what Carcieri’s reasoning was.) However, I also know that it’s worth little more than a headshake and a chuckle before you just move on already. If you want to host a “rival” Christmas tree lighting in front of your office, fine. Whatever. What you don’t do is get together a bunch of your asshole friends and go to the official lighting just to sing “O, Christmas Tree” really loudly out of spite. And you don’t, in doing that, try to drown out the children’s choir on hand. The one that is full of children who’ve spent who knows how many hours rehearsing for this big deal and aren’t yet old enough to understand why grownups would engage in such childish behavior over semantics. And then you know what you don’t do? You don’t take to the comments section in the Providence Journal,* try to call out the choir director for being rude because she had the gall to interrupt your interruption, and then chalk it up to an imaginary conspiracy:
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8:46 PM on 12/6/2011
Some people started to sing, then realized the children were singing another stanza of their carol. Everyone stopped singing, then when the children finished that song, they started again. The choir director than motioned for the children to begin another song, AFTER "Oh Christmas Tree" was well under way. If anyone was rude, it was the adult directing the children. It was such an obvious set-up, everyone there could see it. Of course, it was intended to give the governor and his supporters something to complain about, as they look kinda stupid complaining about 200 plus people singing a Christmas carol.
Oh, for criminy. Yes, that's the stupid part. On the bright side, the whole mess made theDaily Show! Go Rhode Island.
In other news, I’ve decided that I shall rename my own Christmas tree Mrs. Timothy Mortimer Fancypants, and when my daughter complains, I shall blow an air horn at her. And Mrs. Timothy Mortimer Fancypants will be decorated with every single one of these ornaments, because they may be the best ornaments ever.
* Sorry. I just couldn't stay away from the crazy. Comment on, you hilarious lunatics!
