Thursdays of Begrudging Respect: Actual Reasons Providence May Be Considered Cool

So. As discussed previously, the Telegraph is spreading vicious rumors around the UK that Providence is the coolest city in New England. It's not to say that there's nothing cool about Providence - it's just that the things the article points out as cool are... not. It's like someone telling you to visit Disneyland for the tidy bathrooms. Now, while I wouldn't recommend someone planning an entire trip around Providence, I can see a day's diversion from a trip to Boston or, I don't know, Newport? If you're the Newport type. So if you do make it to Pro-Town, which is a name I just made up, here are some things to do while you're here that are not entirely uncool:

Have lunch at Gregg's. Oh Gregg's, I love you. I love your pickles and your rolls and your free refills and all the Rhode Island accents and the old people and the cake. Oh, the cake. Instead of a wedding cake, my husband and I got ten cakes from Gregg's! And that's about all I remember. Go on a Friday and get the fish and chips and a big piece of raspberry coconut cake, and then cancel the rest of your plans before hiring someone to roll you back to your hotel.

The RISD Museum. Shut up, it's cool. And no, it's not a student museum, even though there is some real talent among those crazy-haired, big-glasses, skinny-jeans-wearing hipster jackasses that don't look before they cross the street. Yeah, I said it.

Thayer Street in summer. IN SUMMER. For the love of all things non-irritating, don't go when school's in session of you'll be weaving in and out of throngs of Brown students, and dammit if that won't make you just... look, I can't even talk about it. Just wait until June. Then have lunch at Andreas,' see an arty movie at the Avon, and just walk around a little. It's nice.

Wayland Square. It's a cool little shopping district with an awesome cheese shop, one of the last independent bookstores in the area, and an awesome underground antique store that will keep you busy browsing for hours, as long as no one else shows up, because then neither one of you will be able to move.

Roger Williams Park. I've already professed my love for the zoo, but it's a really nice park otherwise, too. There's a carousel and paddle boats for the kids, and a little botanical garden. Don't be fooled for the sign for the "casino," though -- it's not what you think. You may just crash someone's bar mitzvah. We have the real kind, but if you come all this way just for nickel slots, I cannot help you.

Russian Sub. Wait -- that sank, and then burned. Never mind.

WaterFire. Fine, go if you're going to go. You know you are. Just stay somewhere within walking distance, okay? And try the samosas at the Indian cart.

PawSox! The Pawtucket Red Sox are the Boston Red Sox' AAA farm team, and even if you don't like baseball, you'll have a good time at a game. It's cheap, it's fun, there's ice cream... and after some games, there are fireworks. If you like that sort of thing.

The Children's Museum. It's an indoor playground with hints of learning! Actually, it's pretty sweet, and the kids just go crazy for it. I genuinely appreciate how the exhibit about the old textile mills -- where the young'uns used to work -- balance fun and learning with reminders of how good the kids have it today. (Hear that, children?)

If you visit after July 4 of this year, check out the Independence Trail! It's going to be a three-mile walking tour with 75 (only 75?!) stops of historical "importance!" And at each stop, you call a number on your cell phone and a recording tells you whether George Washington slept there or whatever! Wait -- that sounds terrible. Sweet lord.